It's too late for me! Save yourselves!

I thought to myself, 'Why am I starting a blog? Isn't there enough mind-numbing nattering in the universe?' Tonight, my purpose became clear.

Josh and I have been mostly vegetarian for a few years now. Since moving back to Massachusetts, we have had some meat here and there, especially seafood. But lately I've been thinking of recommitting myself to a meatless existence (especially after that perfect storm of turkey reuben and stomach flu last month). To that end, I picked up the most recent issue of a certain vegetarian magazine, where I found a recipe for a vegetarian St. Patrick's Day dinner.

Now, I realize some of you are probably already shuddering with the inherent wrongness of such a meal. But I feel like some vegetarians - okay, me - have this eternal optimism/endless capacity for delusion that makes us - I mean me - think, "ooooh, this could be tasty."

And thus has my purpose on the blogosphere has made itself known to me:

Don't fall for it. It's like a vegetarian apocalypse. I fear that if others follow in my footsteps, we could evolve to a species without tastebuds - someday in the distant future, Charlton Heston will see a giant tongue emerging from the desert sands, and scream "You damn dirty vegetarians! You blew it all to hell! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!"

Lesson number two: mashed potatoes can make almost anything better. Which is the only reason I'm still alive to tell this cautionary tale.