Game Night, or My Tribe is Hilarious

It was SUPPOSED to be UberGeeky Game Night, in which we played Dungeons and Dragons. But our Dungeonmaster canceled, which is just as well, as I hadn't yet made it out to buy those special dice. Plus, I was wicked cranky from work, and dubious about the restorative powers of battling orcs. However, GL was nearly inconsolable: she had claimed the week before that UberGeeky Game Night was the most exciting thing about the new year. I am recording that statement here so I can call it up on a computer screen on June 14th, 2009.

Anyway, it was clear that the tribe would not be denied games, so a regular old game night was declared.



With snacks.

There were amazing caramels from Cornucopia, yummy cheesy chips made by Katy, some kind of organic cheese doodles (?), and Chocolate Newman-O's:



Oh, and conversation hearts. Which according to Katy should not be bought until February. Because these ones apparently weren't ripe yet. At least, the purple ones weren't:



There were many surprises in the evening's refreshments, including a particular beverage purchased from an unusual place: Ikea. This sparked a volley of wisecracks:

"Ikea root beer? Is it going to fall apart in two years?"

"It comes with allen wrenches."

"The root beer is strong until it gets moved. It will have to stay with the apartment."


Traci and Katy claimed it had been displayed under a sign marked "Root Beer." We called on local root beer expert Bill Scher to test the beverage:

"That is not root beer."

"Maybe it's furniture polish."

"The root beer is ... surprising..."
"The surprise comes later."
"No, the surprise is pretty much immediate."

We settled on Lingonberry cola.

"Lingonberry cola is made from people!"
"Norwegian people!"

The second most amusing/perplexing thing about Ikea cola, besides the taste, is the label:



Gnomes? Really? I guess this is the closest we get to D&D tonight.

At any rate, we settled on a nice relaxing game of Apples to Apples.



I had the choir boys card. Why are choir boys wicked, you ask? Well, they shamelessly seduced all those poor Catholic priests, is all.

Yes, I said it. And so ensued a night of ridiculous, inappropriate, and utterly hilarious wisecracking. For instance, I bet you did not know the ways that Keanu Reeves could be considered "comfortable:"

"Why is Keanu Reeves comfortable? Well, he's very soft, and he makes you feel smart, and he generates body heat..."
"...Yes, so if you are cold you can split him open with your light saber and crawl inside."
"Plus, you could knit a warm cozy hat with Keanu's soft hair."

Or that Dr. Seuss might be considered by some to be distinguished. Other poo-poo this notion, based purely on geography:

"Dr. Seuss is distinguished?!"
"He's a doctor!"
"Pffft! Yeah, from Springfield! I'M a doctor in Springfield!"

Things took a turn for the racy:

"I think I'll grow a pencil mustache tomorrow and just keep it for the day."
"You could totally make a porno in a day."
"I have an idea for a new game!"
"Okay, apparently now we're playing Seven Minutes in Heaven."
"Except our version would be Seven Minutes in the Cold Vestibule."

Coming (sorry) soon to a porno shelf near you.

I came close to passing out from laughter-induced oxygen deprivation. Which was the perfect antidote for a cranky day.